Artillery Punch

Some years ago we were giving a birthday party for Susan, a proper Southern birthday party in honor of her family's somewhat distant southern roots, complete with fried chicken and biscuits, cole slaw and potato salad.  Sweet tea, unsweetened tea.  If you don't know what these are, ask a friend from the south.

And Ann insisted we had to serve Artillery Punch.  "It's a southern tradition - and it's so delicious!" 

I asked her "What's in it?" and she said "Everything." 

So we called her mother.   "Mother," (girls from the south call their mothers mother, no mom or mommy here.  And no matter their age they are girls until their mothers die), "Do you have a recipe for Artillery Punch?  We're giving a party at Jill's."

There was a very long pause, and then Ann's mother asked, "Missy?  How large an umbrella policy does this young lady have?"

We didn't serve Artillery Punch.  We live in California, we mostly drink wine and Margaritas.  But we are still laughing over Ann's mother's response.

Here, then, are several recipes: for Chatham Artillery Punch, for Chatham Artillery Punch from Garden And Gun, and a completely different one from Epicurious: all claiming to be the original, all different.  Like that never happens anywhere else in real life.

Disclaimer:  I have never tried any of these.   Ann said delicious; I say looks like a recipe for a massive hangover.

Let me know what you think - but make sure you have plenty of insurance.  Better yet be sure that your friends are Not Driving! They should be walking home, or spending the night.  No driving allowed.  And after some of this stuff, even walking may be a bad idea...