Monday, June 10, 2013

Overheard On The Street

Walking by the fish department at Lunardi's today, I overheard a woman asking a man, "Oh, I've always wondered about that.  How do you cook it?"  No idea what the food was, if it was fish or fowl.

And he replied "I don't.  I feed it to my turtle."

On so many levels.  Turtle?  Exactly how big is your turtle?  And feed it to him?  Is he a snapper?  a gentle soul?  How long have you had him, how old (the turtle not the man), is he your first?

I envision a painted-shell turtle from a childhood birthday now the size of an ottoman, the paint long ago worn off,  lumbering around this man's apartment, he having given up his dreams of marriage and children for the care and feeding - and companionship - of the turtle.  And perhaps he considers it a fair trade...I know a fair number of women, some married, who could not hold their own against a turtle.  Perhaps not even during its hibernation.

I love Leah Garchik, love the Public Eavesdropping shaded box in the middle of her column.  My current favorite, yellowing and taped to the kitchen wall:  "My parents didn't really raise me with manners.  They didn't want to stifle me as a person."

A little more stifling, please God.

From a recent Leah Garchik column:

Public Eavesdropping

"She's really smart, she just can't handle nonstructured situations. Like life."
Man to woman, overheard at Southpaw BBQ on Mission by Clint Wilder

What's the funniest thing you've overheard lately?

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